As I was sitting at the table sewing hair in to my doll for a school final, I noticed my phone had rang. I checked and it was my friend Michael, or so I thought. He called again and I answered and at first I thought it was Michael. It was actually his boyfriend. He was calling to tell me that Michael was on the way over to my house. They had got in to a fight and he had hit Michael several times. Of course, Michael hit him back. However, this has been an ongoing trend. He is insecure and Michael feels pushed in to hide anything from him that may cause him to react in a jealous fit. I last advised my young friend to leave his boyfriend because I felt that at 21 years old he should be enjoying life, not hiding his friends. He didn’t take my advice and tried to work everything out. Apparently things haven’t improved in the last 4 months. Michael’s reactions? Relief. However, I know him better than I think he knows and I have a feeling he is going to get his stuff and change his mind. I feel bad for him. I have since had a text-session of therapy for his boyfriend while Michael is at work. I hope my friend makes the wise choice. I know this won’t get better.
This brings me to the question: Why do you we stay in unhealthy relationships? Now to an extent, one might say that most relationships are unhealthy. I happen to disagree. For some reason we are conditioned to believe that we deserve to be treated as we are. That we have earned whatever we receive. This just isn’t true. I have a zero tolerance policy for any type of abuse. No one deserves to be treated in such a way that they are physically, emotionally or mentally scarred. LAMBDA.org says this in regards to same-sex domestic violence:
In same-sex abuse, a pattern of violence or behaviors exists where one seeks to control the thoughts, beliefs, or conduct of their intimate partner, or to punish their partner for resisting their control. This may been seen as physical or sexual violence, or emotional and verbal abuse. An additional form of emotional abuse for someone who is gay, lesbian, or bisexual may be to “out” them at work or to family or friends.
This is the situation my friend is dealing with. In fact, I just got a text message from the boyfriend…they are going to “work things out” … I don’t even have anything left to say.