Who’s Who…Slightly Satire…

Today I discovered a free book on Kindle. The book is titled, “Who Was Who: 5000BC-1914 (Biographical Dictionary of the Famous and Those Who Wished To Be)”. It is causing me to question many things, but also it’s making me laugh. So I thought I would share a list of my favorite entries.

  1. Aristotle – Introduced brains into Greece. Love it.
  2. Marcus Aurelius – One of the few Romans who is not remembered for crossing a river, for being murdered, for murdering somebody, for making speeches, or building triumphant arches or ruins.
  3. Berlitz – The man who will teach you how to say it in everything.
  4. Cain – One of our ancestors of whom we do not brag.
  5. Chaucer – An early experimenter in English language. Notorious as a bad speller.
  6. Winston Churchill – Wrote books for a living.
  7. Winston Churchill – Did not write books for a living.
  8. Madame Curie – One of the few women who got her name in print without being a suffragette or an actress.
  9. Daniel – Ancient lion tamer. Also performed the difficult feat of remaining in a fiery furnace without his family applying for the insurance.
  10. Death – A hideous man who called at least once in a lifetime.
  11. Eifel – A Frenchman who built the second tower of Babel, but who was wise enough to stop before he got too high.
  12. George Elliot – A lady who wore a mans name and wrote books.
  13. Galileo – Inventor. Star gazer. Proved himself an imbecile by declaring the world revolved when everybody knew it was stationary…
  14. Hamlet – A Dane who had difficulty with an auxiliary verb. Also founded the foolish questions.
  15. Martini – manufacturer of an American before-dinner drink which tastes too good.
  16. Othello – killed his wife when she lost one of her favorite handkerchiefs.
  17. Plutarch – The only man who had more lives than a cat.
  18. Father Time – A very old man who has been introduced to everybody. Very unpopular with the ladies. A great wound and sorrow healer.

I have to say, this book is very…yeah. But regardless, these are the ones I liked the most!


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