Not Quite Enough

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I had posted a few months ago that I was nominated for an award that is considered a very high honor at my school. I worked hard, and put my heart in to an essay and I found 4 people I respect to write my letters of recommendation. I have worked hard, especially in the last year, to keep my GPA up at 4.0, which has not been easy with three kids and a handicapped mom.

Well, today I received the letter letting me know that I did not win. My mentor told me not to take it personal if I didn’t win….but it is personal to me, and that is something I cannot help. It is personal for several reasons:

1. I grew up with a lack of confidence that I fight against on a daily basis. I never won anything…I was just the average child everyone forgot about. To work so hard and then to lose really hits me where it hurts. I am not a sore loser, it is just not easy for me today.

2. I have my ideas about the selection process. It is supposed to be anonymous, but I honestly don’t think the winners are selected objectively. I won’t elaborate, but I am not the only one who believes this.

However, it is just an award. And on top of that, if it is that kind of selection process I would rather lose 100 times than win. My common sense is saying that. Tomorrow I will believe it.

Alas, even though I failed to win I am going to keep my head up, stay focused and seriously put my heart in to my academics 110%

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