This is my new motto. As I change the way I think, I begin to see the way I have been manipulated in the past. However, I am done playing the part of the doormat. I feel like I do the right things for the wrong people. I am learning to be more aware of those around me. That way I can show my appreciation where it deserves to be given.
I do not like to boast, but after so many people telling me that I am kind I actually think I am. When I compare myself to the experiences I have had in my own life, I truly understand that I am a genuine person. I do not expect anything from anyone else…I truly don’t! However, people seem to think that kind people are push-overs…or weak.
I was reading “The Darkling Thrush” for the 30th time today and realized that I, too, am leaning on a gate. I do not know where exactly the gate leads. However, unlike the poet, I do not feel hopeless about the future. In fact, I feel beyond hopeful. This is a big step for me, because usually when I cannot see what is ahead of me I panic. BUT, I have decided that to truly live my life happily I have to let things go. I still don’t know the complete meaning of my life, but I do know that it is my job to live it. Many people will see me as pulling away from certain ideals, but if I pull away from anything it will be because I just don’t believe the ideals are right, because of the way that we have corroded them in to our own selfish human rules.
But back to the topic, please do not mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to you by way of my own free will. And just as kind as I am, I will easily stop when you begin to walk all over me.